I am currently sorting out, packing boxes, preparing. Because I'm moving. While doing so, a CD of one of my favorite bands from when I was a teenager fell into my hands. One of the songs is titled "Let it All go". It is about being free, in the mind, body and soul, to become one with the music, and to surrender to the flow. I think that sounds pretty wonderful. It sounds like lightness. Very promising. And at the same time: difficult. Letting go. Everything. How? And when? And why?
Letting go is such a broad, multifaceted topic that affects and accompanies us all. Every day. In the apparently most insignificant moments. Like in getting up and going to bed. By sending an email or opening a letter. In sitting down to find quiet for a moment. Turning gaze and changing perspective. It encompasses a lot more than I can cover here and still I want to share a few thoughts about it. About letting go and also about new beginnings.
An old year, even an old decade, is just behind us. And many celebrate the turn of the year. It lets us reflect on the experiences, the moments and the events of the past 12 months. About wishes, dreams and visions. About what was and what we see in the future. I personally find it a nice ritual at the end of the year or at the beginning of the year. It has something contemplative for me. To reflect on myself, to reflect on life, what is essential for me. Or should be.
When I look back ten years, a lot has happened, a lot has changed in my life. A relationship started and ended during this time, I moved, I finished my doctoral thesis, started a new job. I had my first art exhibition, I completed a yoga teacher training and started teaching. I said goodbye to people and got to know new ones. I lived through ups and downs and with this I also let go, developed and welcomed parts of myself. I've been traveling. Inside as well as outside. And I always came out of it a bit differently. If you want so, I stripped something off, gained something new or rediscovered it.
Letting go can be done in so many different ways. For instance quickly and abruptly, or slowly and gently. Deliberately, as a clear decision, or brought about from the outside. Letting go can be painful. Or liberating. Sometimes even both at the same time. We let go of something and at the same time there is space for something new, something different.
There were situations in my life when I didn't want to let go, didn't want things to change. I felt, like it was an uncomfortable, an unwelcome disturbance to the familiar state of being. Like pain. And that’s what it can be. Nevertheless now I also see the positive, the potential, the freedom in letting go! Be it letting go of old behavior patterns, thought patterns, ideas, letting go of objects, of people, environments that are not good for us, or even letting go physically, for example in yoga practice.
Through my yoga practice I have learned a lot about letting go in recent years. I had to realize that I could not just crack open the "armor" of my body and being and leave it behind, in order to be able to move on freely and carefree. But that this is also a process. A process that peels of layer by layer. At its’ own pace. I may have ideas and wishes, yes. But the practice or the "progress" is not always as I thought it would be. And isn't it the same in everyday life? We have ideas, wishes, plans and that is certainly not wrong. But things don't always go exactly as we planned. And that doesn't necessarily mean that things are going worse or better, it just works: differently. Let it all go.
I'm looking forward to my new apartment, the new rooms, new stories. I am looking forward to the change and at the same time I am confronted with old memories that I encounter when packing boxes. It probably always includes both, the letting go - saying goodbye and new beginning. In the mind, body and soul. And even if we don't let go of everything, this threshold of transition also always harbors something very special, a feeling of floating. Neither completely here, nor completely there. Letting go.
I wish you all a wonderful new year and decade. May it hold many big and small new beginnings for you. Like a fresh breeze that strokes your face and through your body.